Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
