At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
