she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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