Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
