she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we made out on top of his cat.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
