Sry I called you an 8
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
