DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
