She is in my trunk
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
