im about as happy as oj after his trial
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
