dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
