Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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