had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Randomize
