i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
