You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
