He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
