i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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