woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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