I think I am morally bankrupt
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
