WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
