considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
