so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
