You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
