This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize