So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
