Kiss
Puke
I want to walk on stilts...naked
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
