And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
