It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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