do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
