found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There's a naked man in my car right now.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
