I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
