Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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