nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
