i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
