yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
