I seem to have left my pride at pride
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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