You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
