you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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