and you said cock pushups were impossible
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
