We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
