Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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