does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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