nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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