Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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