hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
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Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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