I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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