coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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