we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
