Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
