My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
