Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
