Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
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Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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