i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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