Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize