Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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