Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
