Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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