Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
