If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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