I want to make a zoo with you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
