I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dicks are not precious.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
