dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
